Friday, 07 September 2012
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The road I chose.
R lost his job this week. We kind of saw it coming; they sent him home early last week. It was still a blow. It won't be as hard this time around, since M is working. We'll make it work.
Every day I'm reminded of my shortcomings, and how I'm not in the best shape for a 25 year old. I blame it on the surgeries I had ten years ago; I blame it on the arthritis that was caused BY the surgeries; I blame my mother for not letting me climb trees and jump fences and making me afraid of broken bones; I blame myself for not being a boy. I'll make it work.
I've had a continuous headache for the past week, which hasn't happened since before I got my glasses. I also seem to have developed an unusual lump on the back of my leg that makes me scream out in pain whenever touched. I don't think this is normal, and I'm hoping it'll go away soon. I'll make it work.
Even after promising myself otherwise, I've been ridiculously, unnecessarily too busy for my own good. I don't seem to have time to simply sit down, gather my thoughts, and rest up for the next task. There is always something to do, someone to see, somewhere to go, etm. It's never my intention to spread myself so thin, but there it is. I'll make it work.
I don't know what the point of this post was; I know not many people read it. I guess I needed to vent a little? I don't know any other way how. As much shit as (certain) people have talked about me, I do not pull the "woe is me, my life is awful, so much worse than yours" card- not in real life. Things have to be literally falling apart for me to break down and talk about what's wrong. The only two people who always know right away how affected I am when things go awry LIVE with me. It's SO hard for me to open up and admit I'm fragile, and easily broken, and weak. . .
♥Livi
-SM
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Comments (5)
Wow that arthritis sounds pretty nasty. I get a bit in my knees and hip, there's some swelling in the knees but thankfully it's relatively mild. Hang in there sorry to hear about the health problems and hope things get better or at least not worse!
Arthritis is so very stress to the body and the human. I deal with it because of age and do not enjoy it. There are some concerns about that lump, my dear. I'm thinking you might want to have that checked out. Especially with that much pain involved.
Sometimes 'making it work' is not the answer, especially if you are spreading yourself to thin. You need to take time for yourself if only to protect your immune system and sanity. Although being sane is highly overrated. *smile...
Take care of yourself. Keeping you in thoughts and prayers. ((((HUGS))))
Wishing you the beast,
frank
Venting is OK too =)
And you may wanna get your head and leg checked out.Just saying.Ana
@MrTrololo - Thank you so much!! Arthritis is definitely a downer, especially when you're 16 and having to worry about such things so soon!! Usually it's not so bad; it's winter I have to watch out for!
@MzSilver - I went to Urgent Care today- turns out it was an abscess! :( My first one ever, and I hope never to repeat this experience! A little insanity is good for the sould
I'll never be fully sane! Never!!!
@ANVRSADDAY - Thank you so much. R isn't actually my husband, but we've been together for six years, so pretty much?? Lol : ] Our bodies are so fragile!!!
@Want2FitIn2Fat2Fit - I did, thanks
Venting is good, it helps people not go over the edge from frustration!!
♥Livi
-SM